i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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