If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
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