Well apparently he's into motor boating.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
