I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I could fuck to npr.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
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