i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
What did we do last night that was yellow?
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
