Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
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