My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
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