Jerry, you need to find god
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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