At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I will be naked everywhere
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
