; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize