Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
