I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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