Your tits are I can't wait for
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
