She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I am midnight drunk by noon
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
