It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
