we made out on top of his cat.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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