I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
