people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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