We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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