So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
