You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
