I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
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