I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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