shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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