Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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