Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
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