I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
