Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Randomize
