buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
