I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
