apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
