found the other keg... it's in the tree
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
