I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
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