my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
