moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Randomize