the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
