In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize