i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
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