Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I need to calm my uterus...
Randomize
