yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
