you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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