And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
