dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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