Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
