i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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