would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I believe in your delicious
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize