Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
