That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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