I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
