Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
