My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
