Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
