Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Randomize
