He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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