I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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