the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
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