Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
