you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
