What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
