he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
