fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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